Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
english is not my first language and all my life i thought brussel sprouts was the name of some celebrity
everyone is always like “i hate brussel sprouts” and all this time i was here thinking what the fuck did that poor guy do
Can everyone just be like Dylan?
Via SONICALLY SCREWING YOU
Banned Grey Poupon ad is hilariously wrong [YouTube]
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN
WHY WAS THIS BANNED THIS IS BRILLIANT
They saw their chance and they fuckin took it.
ohhhhh myyyyy goooodddd
do centaur babies suckle from the horse nipples or the human nipples tho
Centaurs aren’t real. Do you understand that?
yes that is why i made a tumblr post about this instead of just asking a real centaur